Lotusdevi, 58

Where's Kelly? I've been in relationships with men all my life and never been happy. They all seem to perceive women as the enemy on one level or another, and it always goes into conflict. I've fallen in love with women before but never acted on it. Now I think I'm ready to try to find a female partner. I'd like to take it slowly, and this isn't about sex, for me - its about something else that's missing. Gentleness, maybe. Being on the same page. Even the most enlightened of the men I've dated made comments about my dependence on various other people to complete my work (I'm an artist). In my view, I am very good at the things I'm good at - better than most, in fact - and other people are good at other things so I don't have to be. If we were all good at the same things we wouldn't survive very long, now, would we? 47 aerospace technicians and no farmers. What do you think is going to happen? But even Mr. Nice Guy doesn't see the flaw in his "logic."
It's not that I CAN'T do what he does. It's that I'm doing this other thing so he doesn't have to. I've dated a lot of men, and I have never found one with a proper balance of skill, strength, consciousness, emotional maturity, financial practicality, independent thinking, creativity, spirituality. I guess I'm looking for a more advanced version of myself, LOL. Maybe I can find that in another woman? I don't know, so I thought I'd try it.
BTW, Kelly was the name of a girl I fell in love with in my 20's. She was perfect. But I was involved with a man and she disappeared and I never saw her again.